Was watching 有话就说 (Just Shoot) and the topic of discussion was about the happiness level of Singaporeans. In the recent survey, Singapore was ranked around 120+ country in the happiness level and the 2nd most unhappy country in South East Asia. (When it is like the most effluent country in the region) This episode invoke some thinkings within me...
I believe happiness is unique to any individual and not everyone feels happy when they experience the same thing. A person may feel happy when he gets to eat a bowl of rice. Someone may not be happy until he earn a million dollars. I realized people can be unhappy over the smallest thing after watching the show. Girls can be frustrated and angry because they are a little fat or parents are unhappy when their children dont listen to them.
They shared a story about a artist that particularly admire this painting. Later, when he hanged it up on the wall, he found that the nail is a hinderence and he changed to another nail. Then he found the frame doesn't match the painting and he changed it again. He kept changing and changing to order to find perfection but in the end, he has forgotten why he liked the painting in the first place. Sometimes, people get lost in their pursue of happiness, and p eople tends to judge their level of happiness based comparision, either with others or with themselves in the past.
For example, if a person is earning $1000 a month and his income is suddenly increased 10 times, he would feel utmost happiness. But if your income were in the millions but now you're earning $50000, you would be unhappy. They invited the founder of Tang Cheng who used to hold assets of billions in his prime but became bankrupt during the 1997 financial crisis to speak about his experience. It seems that during his peak, he doesn't even realize he is rich, because he is always in pursue of more money. It's only after he lost everything does he realized what he used to have.
Shen Jiang commented, "Many people have the "Genghis Khan mentality". Always galloping the horse, charging towards the target, in pursue to conquer more lands, to eliminate more foes. Genghis Khan the great conquerer, created the largest empire history ever known (2/3 of the world) but in the end what does it all means? Nothing. You look up and it's the blue sky, and you're standing on hard ground. Nothing matters."
Anyway...here's a very good quote I got from the show:
快乐是自己找的，不快乐是别人给的。
I thought about it and feel this is very true. I believe unhappiness can never come from within yourself. Unhappiness is always an external factor. Like you failed your exams, the girl you like doesn't like you, something bad happened to someone...etc...
On the other hand, if you want happiness, it can only come from within yourself. If you got 90 marks for your test and you're not contented because last time you scored 100, you feel lousy. If you strike $100,000 lottery and you think, "Wah Lau! If I bet more more I could have won a million". You started to regret why you didnt bet more money instead of being happy.
Your inner self gives "permission" to yourself to be happy. You can be happy over the smallest thing (Like I woke up today and I'm still alive! I'm so happy!) or still be unhappy even when the greatest fortune falls upon you. We also cherish things that are hard to come by:
For example, you wouldn't exclaim "Ah! 感谢水, 我有水可以喝" everytime you drink water. You wouldn't be grateful that you have water to drink, but people in 3rd-world country would probably see this as the greatest happiness. This is the same with relationship (family or love). Usually at the start the guy is like so crazy over the girl, send flowers and remember every single important dates (even lame stuff like "100th date since we started dating"). But let's see a husband do that to his wife...When a "happiness" is around you long enough, it becomes 理所当然 and you would only realize it is a "happiness" once you lose it.
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