1 Million K-Beans
Recently, I struck one of the "Gold prize" in QM Party game and got rewarded with 1 million beans.
It brought a total change in how I play the game.
In the past, I do not really care about the beans (i.e using them on random strangers) as I see it only as an app to sing.
After 1 get 1 million beans, for some reason I became much more conscious of how I spend them.
I would evaluate "Is this event worth spending? Is this casino rate good?"
I would "work" for more beans by performing "chests robbery" or "singing in public rooms".
I would actively collect more "pig heads" and fight to "snatch gold".
It was unimportant to me when I had nothing, but became valuable when I had hordes of them.
Same With Money?
I can't help but realize this is exactly how I felt about money.
Before I stepped in into the society (Uni year 4 to period after graduation), I only had a small amount of savings, but I never felt any pressure to "quickly find a job". I was just leisurely enjoying life.
Now, I have a significant amount of financial security, much more than 10 years ago. If I were to retain my current lifestyle, I will have enough to spend for decades.
And yet, I felt even more insecure about leaving a job.
Isn't more money suppose to grant me more security?
More freedom to pursue the unknown? To try different things in life?
Why do I seem even more bound to my job now?
I feel more afraid of the unknown, more afraid to take leap of faith, afraid to step to step out of my comfort zone.
Is it because I have become too obsessed with growing my networth, that I have see incoming cashflow every month?
Is it because I have become too comfortable with everything here (familiarity, people, tasks, environment)?
Or is it simply because i have grown old and now crave security much more? :(
Comfort Zone
I experienced this same anxiety and 'fear of the unknown' when I left my first job.
Now, I am experiencing the same discomfort again (but MUCH stronger).
Perhaps because the pull factors are not as strong (same industry) as the job would be similar in nature to an extend.
People are really creatures of habit and can get really comfortable in a routine.
From the stall you buy your morning coffee from every morning, to where you sit in office, to your bosses, colleagues and things you do on a regular basis. (even those you don't like)
It's the hedonic threadmill at play.
The little voice in the back of your head will come up with a thousand reasons why your new endeavour will fail, is dangerous, shouldn’t be repeated, should be avoided…. the record plays on and on and YOU need to pause it.
https://www.hartsteinpsychological.com/5-reasons-to-leave-your-comfort-zone-suhadee-sue-henriquez-lcsw-act
https://daveasprey.com/step-outside-your-comfort-zone/#:~:text=When%20in%20your%20comfort%20zone,t%20want%20anything%20to%20change.&text=Getting%20out%20of%20your%20comfort,stress%20when%20unexpected%20things%20happen
Through this process, I also realized that to make a "big decision", I definiely need an "in the moment" emotional push. Otherwise, it is easy to fall back in that comfort zone.
Once that triggering moment passes, you will return back to that "don't wanna rock the boat" state.
This can help if you want to make a big change in your life and commit to it - write it down.
Side Track: One Type of Rice Feeds Hundred Types of People
During this job hunt, I consulted lot of different people for advice.
And I realized just how big of a difference my mentality can be with others - we simply see the world through a different lens.
Just some examples:
1. They think $1000 more in pay is a huge deal are even willing to work 996 for it compare to a 965 job
2. They think a 8 x 12 job is much better than a 6 x 16 job, even if annually they pay the same, because they get a higher take home pay.
The main reason for choosing the first package should be that basic are guarantee while bonuses are not, not due to takehome pay. If we disregard this, I would take the 2nd package anytime because you actually get higher overall pay (in CPF). In fact, I even top up into my CPF (LOL. I must be crazy)
Once you reach a certain amount of income, does that 20% more really bring in an equivalent more utility in your life? To the point that it is worth it to sacrifice your work-life, your free time and maybe even your health?
That said, I must admit that my thinking are the outlier of the Singapore society.
I am not even spending 20% of my takehome pay, why do I need even more money?
Which crazy person seeks to escape the rat race and FIRE at 40? Haha... only very few friends share the same goal as me. In fact, one of them (in his late 30s) just quit to pursue his own interests.
I wished I had the courage to do the same, but I am not at the point here I have "enough for the rest of my life" yet.
别人笑我太疯癫，我笑他人看不穿 。
