Simply Hilarious, Amazing & Bizarre...
When i was a REC got one mentally slow guy and 1st PT after shaved botak the PTI asked him why there were lesions/scars on his head and he answered
"PTI head spoiled"
The PTI asked him to go to the store to draw out a new head and this guy actually walked there!
Reminds me of the legendary fellow around my batch time
When throw grenade he shout "Pokeball go!"
PC immediately go charge him.
Got one bunkmate, likes to set his alarm clock at 4.45am.
5.45am fall in mah in BMT.
He scared cannot wake up so set earlier then can snooze.
K**C**! The alarm rang he also cannot wake up lor. Worse still is everyone wake up liao he can 5.30am then really open his eyes.
then woke the whole bunk every morning sibei early @ 4.45am.
We TL went to threw his alarm clock away one morning.
then the next weekend he got another clock and lock it up everynight in his locker. Still 4.45am ring. Wahh ultimate.
One of my company obese storeman uses the yellow detergent/floor cleaner as body foam. He's sort of a legendary character, did tons of wtf stuff.
Same fren.. was given C9L9..8-5 clerk.. but always come after 10.. CO interview him and refer him to a med appointment.. he told MO that he cannot wake up early.. or he'll get stress easily and hear voices.. dunno what he'll do.. (this one is chao keng one) every nite mahjong and go chiong.. Was given excuse letter that he can book in after 10am
Got one time during navex exercise, overheard over the comms:
"sgt we see a monkey!!"
"then what u want me to do, feed the monkey for you ah?"
"....."
another time we doing guard duty.. outside the bunk got this coconut tree. real coconut tree this time round.
so my friend say, try to get the coconut, then can drink the juice.
so we try to climb the coconut trees like how you see in the show. super tough... then my friend got good idea.. he say, the toolshed there got axe.. can use the axe, throw at the coconuts, if our aiming zhun zhun, can hit the coconut and the coconut would come down, and we can drink.
another friend even more clever.. he say the axe later don't aim properly, would hit the coconut, and get stuck there! then if the CSM or the PC see already, we all sure kena sign extra..idea! we tie a rope to the end of the axe, so in case the axe kena stuck, we just need to pull the rope, then the axe can be pulled down as well.
3rd friend is machaim got more safe than us.. he suggest, like that very dangerous.. cos if axe pull down or richochet off the tree, very dangerous.. we better wear our combat helmet while doing this..
so all of us agree.. we tie the rope, we wear our helmet, all ready to knock the coconut down from the 5-6metre tree.. then i suggest, cos when we throw the axe, we might let go of the rope as well.. the thrower should tie the rope around his wrist.. so like that he can concentrate on the throwing..
so all done, already, my friend threw the axe.. but we didn't consider the length of the rope.. i think our rope at most also about 4meter long only. so when the we throw the axe, the rope already max length, but never reach the coconut yet, my friend see already start running. but since the rope is tied round his wrist, when he start running, inherently the axe would be pulled towards him..
the axe came flying towards him, in the end kena hit his shoulder.. we see already farking scared. got blood everywhere! in the end no choice, have to call ambulance, come get him.. all kena SOP, sign 7 weeks extra..
thinking back, we really farking stoopid fools... but at the same time, when we meet up for supper or talk kok kopi session, always have a good laugh about our childishness
the best excuse i ever seen in my NSF is...
excused from thinking
not a CSB.
You know when drawing arms, must number off right? It went something like this:
"One!"
"Two!"
"Three!"
......
"Twelve!"
"AAAAHHHHH" (Guy blur cock and dunno what number so just anyhow shout)
The guy behind him dunno what number to shout also
my platoon last time got this master camouflage soldier. When at night training in the forest, the PC told us to conceal ourselves. Cos it was night and most of us just joined, and dare not go too deep, we hid near the path. Those who got caught have to stay in the push up position while the PC go find the rest.
The last guy was never found until the PC gave up and all of us shouted for him to reveal himself in our push up position. This siao kia leapt from tree to tree then landed in front of us. I see liao really remind me of the predator scene where the alien jump around trees man. Siao kia.
In BMT there was this China Guy who was very fit. Cleared SOC very easily.
At the ZigZag bridge, someone was infront of him ON THE BRIDGE and he JUMPED to the side and continued. <---- WTF!!!
Heard this from my friend from another platoon... 1st book out day, the sgt just gave every section IC his hp number incase of emergency when booking out. After that he sent them back to bunk to continue area cleaning.
Halfway thru cleaning the sgt shouted Platoon 3 IC HEADS OUT!!! Then one of the section IC shout NO NEED and proceeded to call the SGT on his HP...
SGT: Hello??? Who is this???
IC: SGT, is me section XXX IC, what you want? No need to shout la...
SGT: )#@&@$(@#&$(@*#&$ WHOLE PLATOON FALL IN NOW
In the end whole platoon kena fall in and fark...
CASE1
during bmt got this malay guy went to tattoo his thigh the week before field camp. during field camp sure get dirty and because of the dirt and not able to clean it, the area he tattoo swell up and bleed until very jialat. CSM give him extra for putting tattoo before field camp. best of all, the tattoo he put is a CABBAGE.
CASE2
in my unit got this guy always act emo and keng here pain there pain. then in his facebook he always post video of himself doing taekwondo demo in some CC. like those breaking stone slabs with hand, breaking wooden board with his kicks.
our PC knows it but let him be since he nv really create alot of trouble. so one time he reported sick claiming he got backache to siam fieldcamp. on the following bookout, he posted a video of him with a stone slabs on his back and someone breaking it with a hammer. we talked about it in camp and suay suay CO overheard what we're talking and ask which coy we're from, name of this guy and platoon he from. the nxt day he kena SOL for malingering.
CASE3
got this guy always complain bunk very hot he cannot sleep. so his solution is spray water on his bed to make it feels "cooling" to sleep on. after a few days his bed and pillow becomes mouldy and the best part is he carry on sleeping on the mouldy bed
my unit got 1 champion
guard duty bo liao go load live round cock and fire
end up in DB
Platoon mate couldnt drink water, will just merlion everything out. So SGT couldnt do anything about it and asked him what does he drink at home. Platoon mate said 'Ribena'.
