Getting caught up...

I'm really bogged down by lots of things lately...

It is a really bad time...

So many unhappy things happening almost everyday...

Things out of our control...

I don't think I've ever been in a worse state.

My house is in a mess... I kept piling junk into my drawer. Today I opened it and saw something extremely disgusting... Some crea... damn!

What have I been doing for the past month?! Am I living in a garbage dump?!

Grrrr...

I really don't know...

Sometimes, I feel that there are so many things I want to do. So many things I want to get started on, so many things I want to accomplish. But at the end of the day, I've done absolutely nothing about it.

It's like I just give up. There's just so many things and I don't know where to start, or how to start. I just give up and lie there doing nothing. I feel like I'm rotting away into oblivion...

My last major leave (2nd longest after the Block Leave) is coming soon... I made up my mind to do something about this mess. It's not just the physical condition of my house, but everything. Spiritually, Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Financially (yeah, I'll explain some day)...

I must stop myself from going into this downward spiral. Else I will really breakdown when hell unleashes on the 1st Jan 08. I will never forgive myself if I waste this last stretch of leave.