Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, January 01, 2011
This Place In 2011
Wow.
It's hard to believe, but this place has been "up and running" for more than 5 years already.
...
Thinking back, It was really a "spur of moment" that I started writing.
And somehow, surprisingly, I've managed to sustain my "enthusiasm" & kept writing for so long.
I don't know when it started, but this has became a habitual activity since.
And guess what, I've written more than 1000 entries over the years.
ONE THOUSAND!!!
It's really a "say alot not a lot, say few not few" number.
Of the 1000, most of them managed to "see the daylight".
Some used to be here, but were removed after "thinking things through".
And some were just meant to be buried forever from the start.
It's a weird feeling looking through some of the entries as I backup everything.
...
There are certain things written in the past which I no longer understand now, which I can no longer relate to.
In fact, I don't believe I'm the one who wrote them... O_o
(the feeling is equivalent to looking at a piece of program's source code you wrote 2 years ago)
Grateful to whoever is still lurking around.
I'll be updating much less frequently from now on.
No special reasons. (Running out of content?)
No fixed numbers, maybe around once a week?
Let's see how it goes.
Maybe this place can "survive" for another 5 years.
Or it'll slowly fade away with the passage of time...
and pass away peacefully one day...
...
It's hard to believe, but this place has been "up and running" for more than 5 years already.
...
Thinking back, It was really a "spur of moment" that I started writing.
And somehow, surprisingly, I've managed to sustain my "enthusiasm" & kept writing for so long.
I don't know when it started, but this has became a habitual activity since.
And guess what, I've written more than 1000 entries over the years.
ONE THOUSAND!!!
It's really a "say alot not a lot, say few not few" number.
Of the 1000, most of them managed to "see the daylight".
Some used to be here, but were removed after "thinking things through".
And some were just meant to be buried forever from the start.
It's a weird feeling looking through some of the entries as I backup everything.
...
There are certain things written in the past which I no longer understand now, which I can no longer relate to.
In fact, I don't believe I'm the one who wrote them... O_o
(the feeling is equivalent to looking at a piece of program's source code you wrote 2 years ago)
Grateful to whoever is still lurking around.
I'll be updating much less frequently from now on.
No special reasons. (Running out of content?)
No fixed numbers, maybe around once a week?
Let's see how it goes.
Maybe this place can "survive" for another 5 years.
Or it'll slowly fade away with the passage of time...
and pass away peacefully one day...
...
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I Am A Failure
Anyone can lead a team through the good times - when everything is smooth sailing a breeze.
But only a true leader can lead his team through adversity and great obstacles. When the future seems bleak and everything seems impossible.
...
When your team lost their motivation, when the group loses track and give up - you should be the one to encourage and motivate them. You should try your best to do something that will improve the situation.
I did.
I really tried.
But there is still no progress.
In the end, what I did was let everyone lack of motivation affected me as well - and I gave up too.
...
I really don't have any leadership qualities.
When I encounter something that I don't have the ability to overcome, and there's no one to turn to for help, I would just give up.
...
I'm sorry.
But only a true leader can lead his team through adversity and great obstacles. When the future seems bleak and everything seems impossible.
...
When your team lost their motivation, when the group loses track and give up - you should be the one to encourage and motivate them. You should try your best to do something that will improve the situation.
I did.
I really tried.
But there is still no progress.
In the end, what I did was let everyone lack of motivation affected me as well - and I gave up too.
...
I really don't have any leadership qualities.
When I encounter something that I don't have the ability to overcome, and there's no one to turn to for help, I would just give up.
...
I'm sorry.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Attachment
[The more attachment you grow towards something, the more distant & more painful you feel. So the only way is to try becoming less attached to it.]
...
Deep inside, I know this really isn't right.
I know this is not a very good solution, but...
I just...just can't figure this thing out.
It's like the greatest paradox.
My heart, my brain, my actual behavior, it's all telling me different things.
It's a double-edge sword.
...
I really can't get out of this.
I know what's the antidote... but...
Knowing what it is doesn't mean you can get it easily... Haha... =.=
...
Deep inside, I know this really isn't right.
I know this is not a very good solution, but...
I just...just can't figure this thing out.
It's like the greatest paradox.
My heart, my brain, my actual behavior, it's all telling me different things.
It's a double-edge sword.
...
I really can't get out of this.
I know what's the antidote... but...
Knowing what it is doesn't mean you can get it easily... Haha... =.=
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Quarter Life Crisis
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
Everyone feel close and so distant at the same time. One moment they're the best people and then they are the worst. There's no one you can confide in.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Source: http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
Everyone feel close and so distant at the same time. One moment they're the best people and then they are the worst. There's no one you can confide in.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Source: http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html
Friday, March 19, 2010
A Moth Dream
“飞蛾扑火”
The moth must have lost his mind.
He knows he's doing things that will eventually lead to pain & self destruction.
Yet, he still can't stop himself from doing it.
He knows.
He knows the consequences.
And he needs to wake up now.
不知周之梦为蝴蝶与？蝴蝶之梦为周与？
"The image of a moth flying toward the singeing tongues of flames is the foundation for its use to symbolize self-destruction. Few people realize, however, that this seemingly unwarranted suicide (which also gives rise to the moth as a symbol of insanity) is not an act of foolish recklessness by the moth. The "magnetic" attraction of the fire or of a light source is related to a built-in malfunction in the moth's navigational system."
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
FaceBook - The Past Life Quiz
The Past Life Quiz |
| |
Result: A Romantic Poet | ||
| You know how you're kind of...you know...sensitive? There's a good reason for that. Long, long ago, you were a romantic poet - the kind that made all the ladies swoon with your sexy sonnets. Even if you're not much of a poet now, you've still got a lot of creativity brewing in your soul. And you've got a strong ability to notice details and understand other people's emotions. If you ever have writer's block or just need some creative inspiration, try to harness some of that poet power in your soul's past. |
...
O_o
Friday, September 26, 2008
Get To Know Yourself Better
Some quiz I gotten from another blog... heard that it's super accurate...
Let's try~! These are the results I got...
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
(LOL... say until so good... I will shy. The part about not liking conflict is true though...)
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
(Wah this is true... when I can't do something, or something unexpected happens, or when I ask some people and he attitude with me, I tend to get angry...)
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Original Date
P.S: A portion of this post was removed cause I felt some stuffs aren't suitable to be put up (cause I got a bit too "emo" and wrote too much). So please understand that some parts might not connect too logically.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahh... what an important date to remember. Or should I say, originally an important date. Haha...
Today mark the end of 5 weeks of school. That also meant that I've left the Kindergarten for 5 weeks now. If I haven't choose this path, I'll probably be celebrating now with the others from the September batch~
...
When I made this choice, I already foresee the coming of this day. And there will be many more such days to come. Today, the September batch graduates. Very Soon, the December will, then the March guys, and it goes on.
Well, as for me, I don't regret my decision. They can "suan" me for all they like, but I know I've made the right choice. If I got my "True Freedom" but knows that I'll be doing nothing meaningful for the next 11 months, I don't think I'll be happy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Alternative Solution?
Some people once suggested to accumulate all my "free days" + "skip classes" etc in order to get into NTU this year and at the same time graduate from the Kindergarten. Now that I'm in, I can say with certainty that this method wouldn't have work.
First, given the "nature of work" and the "kind of people" at the Kindergarten, do you think they would allowed this to happen? It's unfair to the others as well.
Second, it would be nearly impossible to catch up 5 weeks of lessons this way (for an indication, just look at me now). It's as good as giving up the entire semester.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In fact, the life at the Kindergarten actually become one of my greatest source of motivation to study.
I can honestly say that I really cherish studying right now, even when it's tough.
Even when it drains away my energy, even when I can't understand the lectures, even when I feel very stress, even when I feel frustrated.
I still cherish studying. I value it so much BECAUSE I've been through the life at the Kindergarten. And I know how much better it is right now.
...
Everytime I'm tempted to skip lessons, everytime I'm fed up with doing tutorials, everytime I feel mad at doing reports, I always look back and compare with my "previous life".
What would I be doing now? Where would I be at this time? On this day?
Would I rather spend my entire Saturday in my room (with aircon + music + computer) doing tutorials? Or would I rather go out on 15 hours excursions?
Would I rather go sit through some mind-torturing lectures? Or would I transform myself into a statue for 6 hours staring at the moon?
Would I rather burn the midnight oil to rush a report? Or spend the night in fear and agony in some cold dark places?
The choice is clear. There isn't even a single doubt, or even a moment of hesitation in which one I would choose.
...
I always tell myself, I rather DIE STUDYING then DIE STANDING.
I rather collapsed at the study table then faint at some mysterious island.
I rather kill all my brain cells studying then break my back standing.
I rather be suffocated by pile of books then pile of ****.
... ...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the great thing is...
By the time those "freshies" enter NTU, I'll be in Year 2! And by then I would have gotten by "True Freedom" as well!
Yeah~!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahh... what an important date to remember. Or should I say, originally an important date. Haha...
Today mark the end of 5 weeks of school. That also meant that I've left the Kindergarten for 5 weeks now. If I haven't choose this path, I'll probably be celebrating now with the others from the September batch~
...
When I made this choice, I already foresee the coming of this day. And there will be many more such days to come. Today, the September batch graduates. Very Soon, the December will, then the March guys, and it goes on.
Well, as for me, I don't regret my decision. They can "suan" me for all they like, but I know I've made the right choice. If I got my "True Freedom" but knows that I'll be doing nothing meaningful for the next 11 months, I don't think I'll be happy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Alternative Solution?
Some people once suggested to accumulate all my "free days" + "skip classes" etc in order to get into NTU this year and at the same time graduate from the Kindergarten. Now that I'm in, I can say with certainty that this method wouldn't have work.
First, given the "nature of work" and the "kind of people" at the Kindergarten, do you think they would allowed this to happen? It's unfair to the others as well.
Second, it would be nearly impossible to catch up 5 weeks of lessons this way (for an indication, just look at me now). It's as good as giving up the entire semester.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In fact, the life at the Kindergarten actually become one of my greatest source of motivation to study.
I can honestly say that I really cherish studying right now, even when it's tough.
Even when it drains away my energy, even when I can't understand the lectures, even when I feel very stress, even when I feel frustrated.
I still cherish studying. I value it so much BECAUSE I've been through the life at the Kindergarten. And I know how much better it is right now.
...
Everytime I'm tempted to skip lessons, everytime I'm fed up with doing tutorials, everytime I feel mad at doing reports, I always look back and compare with my "previous life".
What would I be doing now? Where would I be at this time? On this day?
Would I rather spend my entire Saturday in my room (with aircon + music + computer) doing tutorials? Or would I rather go out on 15 hours excursions?
Would I rather go sit through some mind-torturing lectures? Or would I transform myself into a statue for 6 hours staring at the moon?
Would I rather burn the midnight oil to rush a report? Or spend the night in fear and agony in some cold dark places?
The choice is clear. There isn't even a single doubt, or even a moment of hesitation in which one I would choose.
...
I always tell myself, I rather DIE STUDYING then DIE STANDING.
I rather collapsed at the study table then faint at some mysterious island.
I rather kill all my brain cells studying then break my back standing.
I rather be suffocated by pile of books then pile of ****.
... ...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the great thing is...
By the time those "freshies" enter NTU, I'll be in Year 2! And by then I would have gotten by "True Freedom" as well!
Yeah~!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Hunting For A Memory Device...
It dawn on me when I was randomly browsing IT gadgets...Then saw those digital cameras and camcorders for sale...
Thinking about it, I've never owned (To be more accurate, my family never did) a camera in my life. All the photos I've taken so far are by others, be it relatives or friends or random photographers.
Gatherings, graduation ceremonies, parties, outings, visit to shows and events, get-together, the list goes on and on. I don't even have a record of them.
Aside from a couple of childhood 'pics', I almost didn't have any photos of myself from like 8 years old onwards... to about 16 years old. It's like totally blank. It's a white piece of paper. OK, I did have those yearly class photos where they got some random guy to take... and you had to pay $8 for it. But that's about it.
Go on to Poly also the same: had one class photo... and one graduation photo. Full stop.
LOL... so pathetic leh... say out also throw face. Recently want to find some old photos also like digging grave...
The only "device" I have to find back the past are the memories buried deep in my head. Bits and pieces, very vague and jumbled up. I can't even remember clearly the faces or places that I've spent years with and in.
So that brings me to my point (To tell the truth, it's just justification for me to spend) - I want to buy a digital camera!
I think it's perhaps one of the biggest regret in my life. Didn't get a camera earlier... and didn't start writing a diary sooner - else I would have like 10 years of photos and stories to read through by now... Haha... the feeling would be song I think. If only I could turn back the clock...
Hey wait. Thinking about it, I wouldn't ever want to turn back the clock. Cause that means I have to undergo another 1 year of shit which I just went through... Not worth it lah...
Humph Humph... anyway~
It's NEVER TOO LATE TO START!
I've sort of begin doing a little bit of 'research' into this. Picked out a few viable choices that are within my budget.
Basically, I want one that's portable and compact and easy to use. Don't need to be too 'chim' cause I'm not some professional photographer anyway. I don't need some horrifically advanced features. Best is if it has exceptional zoom... so can take pictures of my princesses even when they're far away~
Now just look look only... most probably will 'hoot' one at Sitex 2007~
Thinking about it, I've never owned (To be more accurate, my family never did) a camera in my life. All the photos I've taken so far are by others, be it relatives or friends or random photographers.
Gatherings, graduation ceremonies, parties, outings, visit to shows and events, get-together, the list goes on and on. I don't even have a record of them.
Aside from a couple of childhood 'pics', I almost didn't have any photos of myself from like 8 years old onwards... to about 16 years old. It's like totally blank. It's a white piece of paper. OK, I did have those yearly class photos where they got some random guy to take... and you had to pay $8 for it. But that's about it.
Go on to Poly also the same: had one class photo... and one graduation photo. Full stop.
LOL... so pathetic leh... say out also throw face. Recently want to find some old photos also like digging grave...
The only "device" I have to find back the past are the memories buried deep in my head. Bits and pieces, very vague and jumbled up. I can't even remember clearly the faces or places that I've spent years with and in.
So that brings me to my point (To tell the truth, it's just justification for me to spend) - I want to buy a digital camera!
I think it's perhaps one of the biggest regret in my life. Didn't get a camera earlier... and didn't start writing a diary sooner - else I would have like 10 years of photos and stories to read through by now... Haha... the feeling would be song I think. If only I could turn back the clock...
Hey wait. Thinking about it, I wouldn't ever want to turn back the clock. Cause that means I have to undergo another 1 year of shit which I just went through... Not worth it lah...
Humph Humph... anyway~
It's NEVER TOO LATE TO START!
I've sort of begin doing a little bit of 'research' into this. Picked out a few viable choices that are within my budget.
Basically, I want one that's portable and compact and easy to use. Don't need to be too 'chim' cause I'm not some professional photographer anyway. I don't need some horrifically advanced features. Best is if it has exceptional zoom... so can take pictures of my princesses even when they're far away~
Now just look look only... most probably will 'hoot' one at Sitex 2007~
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Money Sense...
Somehow...nowadays, I feel that I'm generally "more willing" to spend money.
On food, on transport...and other stuffs. I'm not referring to those "one time luxury items" here, but my general spending habits.
And it has nothing to do with me becoming richer or what (and I definitely have not).
For example, I don't really mind taking (sharing with friends) a cab home once in a while from work. (when I'm really shagged and tired out) I think it's quite unlikely I would do that if it was in the past.
Next on the "Makan" portion. I think I'm more generous nowadays...Finger food evernow and then... 1 fruit juice every 2 days (healthy lifestyle)...and I've been spending a lot on drinks. I can easily spend $3 for a night on that Island... "Bo Bian"... cause it's really really boring there. There's nothing much you can do to pass time except to make friend with the Vending Machine.
The last time I was K, I spent like $50 on DVD + snacks/tidbits... Movie Marathon... I rather spend that money then use the entire day staring at 4 walls.
Anyway, I just dropped by Causeway Point to picked up some Pet Food for my "Ah Boy". It's a modest snack biscuit with tasty beef flavor. Haha. Costs me $6. It's the first time ever I brought any treats for him. Can't wait to feed him myself. Don't know why suddenly felt like buying for him... maybe it's because he's been with me long enough that I should give a "XXX days Anniversary Gift"?
Somehow my perception towards money has changed since I Sep 2006. It's no longer as high on my list as before. As the saying goes:
"Money is Important, Freedom is Priceless".
Sometimes, I feel like I"m spending these money because I am so DEVOID of happiness in almost all areas of my life. So I don't mind spending a little to buy some small happiness. Everyday I'm doing the same things, over and over and over. And I'm not even halfway there yet. I'll really break down and become a retarded if I don't reward myself with something, something that will at least bring me comfort. At least these things will bring some variety into my life.
On food, on transport...and other stuffs. I'm not referring to those "one time luxury items" here, but my general spending habits.
And it has nothing to do with me becoming richer or what (and I definitely have not).
For example, I don't really mind taking (sharing with friends) a cab home once in a while from work. (when I'm really shagged and tired out) I think it's quite unlikely I would do that if it was in the past.
Next on the "Makan" portion. I think I'm more generous nowadays...Finger food evernow and then... 1 fruit juice every 2 days (healthy lifestyle)...and I've been spending a lot on drinks. I can easily spend $3 for a night on that Island... "Bo Bian"... cause it's really really boring there. There's nothing much you can do to pass time except to make friend with the Vending Machine.
The last time I was K, I spent like $50 on DVD + snacks/tidbits... Movie Marathon... I rather spend that money then use the entire day staring at 4 walls.
Anyway, I just dropped by Causeway Point to picked up some Pet Food for my "Ah Boy". It's a modest snack biscuit with tasty beef flavor. Haha. Costs me $6. It's the first time ever I brought any treats for him. Can't wait to feed him myself. Don't know why suddenly felt like buying for him... maybe it's because he's been with me long enough that I should give a "XXX days Anniversary Gift"?
Somehow my perception towards money has changed since I Sep 2006. It's no longer as high on my list as before. As the saying goes:
"Money is Important, Freedom is Priceless".
Sometimes, I feel like I"m spending these money because I am so DEVOID of happiness in almost all areas of my life. So I don't mind spending a little to buy some small happiness. Everyday I'm doing the same things, over and over and over. And I'm not even halfway there yet. I'll really break down and become a retarded if I don't reward myself with something, something that will at least bring me comfort. At least these things will bring some variety into my life.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
People Sharing The Same Name...
How many different people sharing the same name have you met in your life? Regardless of the different stages in your life where you know them...
Here are some of mine...
Matthew - 2 of my secondary classmates, and in the same class some more. One is Chinese, the other is Indian. One of them is the school top student, the other "skips remedial class to eat Curry Chicken by mother". Haha. I will always remember that excuse by Matthew No.2: "Sorry I cannot attend the class. My mother cook Curry Chicken liao I have to go back eat".
Wei Hao - One of them is my primary school mate, and the other is my current camp mate... They are actually quite similar in personality... but I shall not elaborate much here.
Anthony - One is a male... the other is a "female"... LOL! Both are my camp mates. They're so different and has been the cause of a number of confusion.
For example, there's one time where someone was handed a drink with the instructions "Give this to Anthony. He told me help him buy one." In the end, handed to the wrong Anthony... drink finish liao. What to do... suck thumb.
Yi Wen - The first Yi Wen is my primary classmate for quite a long time (4 years?). The second is my Poly Schoolmate and Xin Ting's friend.
Shu Hui - Shu Hui No. 1 is my primary classmate. She's so skinny at that time that we used to call her "skeleton". I've met her once last year... still the same like before. Very talkative... Shu Hui No. 2 is my poly classmate and the cause of many affections... I think. I can't recall how many guys have had rumors with her... but oh well... nevermind. It's all in the past now.
Alvin - One of them is my BMT section mate and Poly Course Mate. He really helped me a lot during my BMT days, probably more than any single person at that time. I'm really thankful to him and he'll definitely be a great PC I believe! The other is my current camp mate and one of the more friendly seniors that I can approached. They're different in a lot of ways, especially in size. (Edit: My mistake... the camp mate is actually named "Alwin")
Zhi Wei - I've met 3 "Zhi Wei"s in my life (Just to prove how common this name is). The first one is my friend since Sec 1, and I still remember teaming up with him in the "F&N" class... The teacher always refer to him as "Ji Wai" (due to some problem with her pronunciation) so that's what I call him.
The second is one of my better Poly friend (and one of my more act cute friend). I did almost all my projects with him during my later half of the Poly years... The first one was the Audio Project I think (gay DJ)... and subsequently web programming, animation, FYP...
The last is my camp mate. Because his surname is "Goh" (Same surname as Zhi Wei No.2), We've been calling him "Ah Goh Goh" (a kind of dance). He had this nickname even before I met him. One of the taller friends I've met...1.88m. With a very very intimidating partner. No one dares to go near when his partner is around.
Hmm... that's all I can think of off the top of my head...
...
Oh wait there's one more.
I've known 2 "Ben"s. The first is my poly classmate.
The second...
is...
a dog under my care.
A dog with a 自闭症 but yet at times very KP.
One of these day I'm going to whack him.
Pretty amusing cause when I scold him it sounds like I'm scolding my friend.
Here are some of mine...
Matthew - 2 of my secondary classmates, and in the same class some more. One is Chinese, the other is Indian. One of them is the school top student, the other "skips remedial class to eat Curry Chicken by mother". Haha. I will always remember that excuse by Matthew No.2: "Sorry I cannot attend the class. My mother cook Curry Chicken liao I have to go back eat".
Wei Hao - One of them is my primary school mate, and the other is my current camp mate... They are actually quite similar in personality... but I shall not elaborate much here.
Anthony - One is a male... the other is a "female"... LOL! Both are my camp mates. They're so different and has been the cause of a number of confusion.
For example, there's one time where someone was handed a drink with the instructions "Give this to Anthony. He told me help him buy one." In the end, handed to the wrong Anthony... drink finish liao. What to do... suck thumb.
Yi Wen - The first Yi Wen is my primary classmate for quite a long time (4 years?). The second is my Poly Schoolmate and Xin Ting's friend.
Shu Hui - Shu Hui No. 1 is my primary classmate. She's so skinny at that time that we used to call her "skeleton". I've met her once last year... still the same like before. Very talkative... Shu Hui No. 2 is my poly classmate and the cause of many affections... I think. I can't recall how many guys have had rumors with her... but oh well... nevermind. It's all in the past now.
Alvin - One of them is my BMT section mate and Poly Course Mate. He really helped me a lot during my BMT days, probably more than any single person at that time. I'm really thankful to him and he'll definitely be a great PC I believe! The other is my current camp mate and one of the more friendly seniors that I can approached. They're different in a lot of ways, especially in size. (Edit: My mistake... the camp mate is actually named "Alwin")
Zhi Wei - I've met 3 "Zhi Wei"s in my life (Just to prove how common this name is). The first one is my friend since Sec 1, and I still remember teaming up with him in the "F&N" class... The teacher always refer to him as "Ji Wai" (due to some problem with her pronunciation) so that's what I call him.
The second is one of my better Poly friend (and one of my more act cute friend). I did almost all my projects with him during my later half of the Poly years... The first one was the Audio Project I think (gay DJ)... and subsequently web programming, animation, FYP...
The last is my camp mate. Because his surname is "Goh" (Same surname as Zhi Wei No.2), We've been calling him "Ah Goh Goh" (a kind of dance). He had this nickname even before I met him. One of the taller friends I've met...1.88m. With a very very intimidating partner. No one dares to go near when his partner is around.
Hmm... that's all I can think of off the top of my head...
...
Oh wait there's one more.
I've known 2 "Ben"s. The first is my poly classmate.
The second...
is...
a dog under my care.
A dog with a 自闭症 but yet at times very KP.
One of these day I'm going to whack him.
Pretty amusing cause when I scold him it sounds like I'm scolding my friend.
Friday, March 16, 2007
A Person Who Holds Grudges?
I didn't thought of myself as such a person until recently. That day I was doing this "personality test" and I belong to this category of people, and one of the main traits of this kind of people is that they'll hold grudges. All the other characteristics were quite true, but I don't agree a lot with this one.
But maybe I'm wrong. Guess I don't understand myself that well after all... or perhaps in the past, no one ever offended me so much until I have to hold a grudge against that person? Heh...
It was until some time ago that I realized I am like this... wouldn't say it's a bad point or what... think it's just a way to protect yourself.
There's this saying call "有恩必还，有仇必报". But I don't think I will be so extreme until I want to take revenge or whatever crap... but I will never forget it if that person deal enough pain to me. On the other hand, I will definitely remember and return someone kindness.
Sometimes, it's sad when you are accused of something you didn't do. If I do something wrong, then I will definitely admit my mistake. But it feels so bad when you are doubt of your character.
But maybe I'm wrong. Guess I don't understand myself that well after all... or perhaps in the past, no one ever offended me so much until I have to hold a grudge against that person? Heh...
It was until some time ago that I realized I am like this... wouldn't say it's a bad point or what... think it's just a way to protect yourself.
There's this saying call "有恩必还，有仇必报". But I don't think I will be so extreme until I want to take revenge or whatever crap... but I will never forget it if that person deal enough pain to me. On the other hand, I will definitely remember and return someone kindness.
Sometimes, it's sad when you are accused of something you didn't do. If I do something wrong, then I will definitely admit my mistake. But it feels so bad when you are doubt of your character.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Some things about myself...
Hmm...just a little self discovery...
Believing in God - I don't really believe in god, as I don't really think that a "Mystical Being" that overlooks this world really exist. When I (Or other people) go to pray, I think of it as more Psychological thing. They "feel better" to have "something" looking over them but actually it's just that they've adjusted their psychology, thereby reducing/eliminating fear and anxiety. So basically , the "god" lives within yourself. That's what I believe anyway.
Believing in Ghosts - If I have to compare, I'll say there is a "higher likelyhood" of ghost existing than god existing...not that I've seen either. I think it's mainly due to watching too much horror shows...I mean, horror shows protrays ghost. How often do you see a show that talk about god?
Hmm...talk about some of my good points and some of my bad points. Basically I won't say it's good or bad. It's just some traits that's become part of me...
Easily annoyed - I am very very easily annoyed. I don't know if it equivalates to bad tempered. I don't think so, cause I dont' go around screaming and throwing things when I'm annoyed. Annoyed means I don't feel very "comfortable" inside. For example, I will become very irritated when my mum nag me to go to bed (when I'm using the com till way pass midnight). That's one of the big "ARGH!!!" moment for me. I know she's concern about me but when it happens I will automatically go into irritated mode. I will usually just keep quiet or just reply "orh". Same for when I wake up she told me to go buy breakfast...It has almost become a habitual pattern. Everytime X happen, I auto get pissed. Haiz...
Calculative? - Hmm...I also don't really understand this. I can be extremely "don't kay gao" (uncalculative) towards certain thing and certain people, but be totally opposite towards others. Like for example, If I buy this 50 cents thing for person X, I will expect him to pay me (and yes, I will open my mouth to ask for the money). On the other hand, I can pay a few dollars taxi ride but i won't expect my friends to pay me. I've recently realize that this action of mine is LARGELY related to what kind of person I'm dealing with. In short, I will treat the person how he treat me. If he's calculative towards me then I'll be the same towards him, vice versa. Think I just don't like the feeling of being taken advantage of.
Things I would never do - There's a saying that goes 君子有所为，有所不为 (There are something one can do, and one should never do). There are lot of little things (in the eyes of others) that I will never do, even though it seems very stupid of negligible. For example, I would never send someone else a S.H.E Song, no matter what. The person is probably going "come on, make it easier for me. I can get it from 10000 different sources easily anyway".
True, but it's just not the same. I can't find a very good description, but it just makes me feel bad for me, myself, a fan of theirs, to give out their song. The closest analogy would be like, say during an exam - all the class have the answers except you. Even if no one would ever know, I rather you get it from others than me (even though the answers are the same).
On the other hand, there are some things I do that may seems "stupid" in other people eyes. For example, if I see a great game that I love, I WILL buy the original game. If I know a great movie, I will go to the theatre and actually see the movie. I don't listen to the "Heck! This game has no multiplayer anyway. Just download it, don't need to waste money". I think it's just my way of showing support for something I love. Sure I can download it and get the same exact game without paying anything, but...I dont' just feel good. It's a game that I LOVE, surely I need to show some support for the creators?
Whew...tired. Another time.
Believing in God - I don't really believe in god, as I don't really think that a "Mystical Being" that overlooks this world really exist. When I (Or other people) go to pray, I think of it as more Psychological thing. They "feel better" to have "something" looking over them but actually it's just that they've adjusted their psychology, thereby reducing/eliminating fear and anxiety. So basically , the "god" lives within yourself. That's what I believe anyway.
Believing in Ghosts - If I have to compare, I'll say there is a "higher likelyhood" of ghost existing than god existing...not that I've seen either. I think it's mainly due to watching too much horror shows...I mean, horror shows protrays ghost. How often do you see a show that talk about god?
Hmm...talk about some of my good points and some of my bad points. Basically I won't say it's good or bad. It's just some traits that's become part of me...
Easily annoyed - I am very very easily annoyed. I don't know if it equivalates to bad tempered. I don't think so, cause I dont' go around screaming and throwing things when I'm annoyed. Annoyed means I don't feel very "comfortable" inside. For example, I will become very irritated when my mum nag me to go to bed (when I'm using the com till way pass midnight). That's one of the big "ARGH!!!" moment for me. I know she's concern about me but when it happens I will automatically go into irritated mode. I will usually just keep quiet or just reply "orh". Same for when I wake up she told me to go buy breakfast...It has almost become a habitual pattern. Everytime X happen, I auto get pissed. Haiz...
Calculative? - Hmm...I also don't really understand this. I can be extremely "don't kay gao" (uncalculative) towards certain thing and certain people, but be totally opposite towards others. Like for example, If I buy this 50 cents thing for person X, I will expect him to pay me (and yes, I will open my mouth to ask for the money). On the other hand, I can pay a few dollars taxi ride but i won't expect my friends to pay me. I've recently realize that this action of mine is LARGELY related to what kind of person I'm dealing with. In short, I will treat the person how he treat me. If he's calculative towards me then I'll be the same towards him, vice versa. Think I just don't like the feeling of being taken advantage of.
Things I would never do - There's a saying that goes 君子有所为，有所不为 (There are something one can do, and one should never do). There are lot of little things (in the eyes of others) that I will never do, even though it seems very stupid of negligible. For example, I would never send someone else a S.H.E Song, no matter what. The person is probably going "come on, make it easier for me. I can get it from 10000 different sources easily anyway".
True, but it's just not the same. I can't find a very good description, but it just makes me feel bad for me, myself, a fan of theirs, to give out their song. The closest analogy would be like, say during an exam - all the class have the answers except you. Even if no one would ever know, I rather you get it from others than me (even though the answers are the same).
On the other hand, there are some things I do that may seems "stupid" in other people eyes. For example, if I see a great game that I love, I WILL buy the original game. If I know a great movie, I will go to the theatre and actually see the movie. I don't listen to the "Heck! This game has no multiplayer anyway. Just download it, don't need to waste money". I think it's just my way of showing support for something I love. Sure I can download it and get the same exact game without paying anything, but...I dont' just feel good. It's a game that I LOVE, surely I need to show some support for the creators?
Whew...tired. Another time.
Monday, August 14, 2006
A day off for myself, and why I don't like to go out
Ahhh~great day. Been a long time since I went out alone, without company. Frankly, I hate going out. I do not understand why people like to go out so often. It's hot, it's tiring and there isnt really much to do. I rather spend the whole day using the computer at home then go out. It's not anti-social, neither is it "no life". To me, going out is more "no-life" than staying at home. Basically, I get more "happiness" from staying at home, so why should I care what other people think?
Anyway, today I felt like going out, alone. Another reason I don't like going out with my friends is because their interests are different from mine. They go out to shop for clothes, look at branded stuff, sport shoes and generally clothings, or the latest phone gadgets etc...I have zero interest in these stuff. They don't appeal to me. I like to frequent book stores, CD-shops, games shops, comic stores and take my time, slowly browsing and basically enjoy the time. Going out with my friends is so darn boring. I basically "stand and 发呆".
Going out alone means I can really spend quality time doing what I want to do. Anyway, I first went to MPH and look around, but nothing caught my interest. Later on I went to Borders (heard there's 30% sales there) and spent almost 2 hours there. Very nice...pick a book and sit down...slowly enjoy. Unfortunately the 30% sales is fake...books too expensive. Went to Kino to shop after that...found the book I want! Woot! Brought it for $25 bucks. Very very nice!
After that went to Yishun to look around. Been a long time since I visited that place and everything has changed...The "Times" bookshop (My favourite hangout place during my Primary School) is gone! Noo~~~Walk around CD shops but spot nothing interesting.
Main purpose was to get a pair of spectacles for my army cause my downstairs ($120) there is quite ex...Then I got this "$50 off if you're a popular member" at "XYZ Optical Shop". I thought I will save a bunch. So I went there. Big mistake. I ask him to give me an estimate how much it would cost and I think he saw me holding the Popular book and asked me if I had a voucher. Then he took out a calculator and anyhow press some stuff. Then he say what "must do this" and "must do that" and turned out to $200. Then he say since I got the voucher he will deduct $50, then he minus $50 again as "extra discount" for me. Full of BS. I look and I know he is a 奸商...
Cause you don't know how they calculate these kind of things. I think he saw me got the $50 voucher, so he just jacked up the price to "eliminate" the discount. I left the shop immediately. I rather pay a little more for good services than let this guy earn. I hope the shop close down. Later went to Spectacles Hut to check the price. Very good service. The lady explained to me in great detail. The left eye is how much and how much because of short-sighted, right eye cost more because of the serious 闪光. Unfortunately the price turned out $165 in the end... Haiz...left the shop again.
Guess I'll just do at my house there. Cheaper and more convenient also. The service is also great. Rather let them earn then let the "evil merchant" earn my money. Heh...
Think it's pretty cool to go out alone once in a while...listen to my favourite songs while strolling the streets or reading a book. Think I'll make it part of my lifestyle. Put some money aside and every few months I'll just do this "ritual". Go out and shop for things I like~
Anyway, today I felt like going out, alone. Another reason I don't like going out with my friends is because their interests are different from mine. They go out to shop for clothes, look at branded stuff, sport shoes and generally clothings, or the latest phone gadgets etc...I have zero interest in these stuff. They don't appeal to me. I like to frequent book stores, CD-shops, games shops, comic stores and take my time, slowly browsing and basically enjoy the time. Going out with my friends is so darn boring. I basically "stand and 发呆".
Going out alone means I can really spend quality time doing what I want to do. Anyway, I first went to MPH and look around, but nothing caught my interest. Later on I went to Borders (heard there's 30% sales there) and spent almost 2 hours there. Very nice...pick a book and sit down...slowly enjoy. Unfortunately the 30% sales is fake...books too expensive. Went to Kino to shop after that...found the book I want! Woot! Brought it for $25 bucks. Very very nice!
After that went to Yishun to look around. Been a long time since I visited that place and everything has changed...The "Times" bookshop (My favourite hangout place during my Primary School) is gone! Noo~~~Walk around CD shops but spot nothing interesting.
Main purpose was to get a pair of spectacles for my army cause my downstairs ($120) there is quite ex...Then I got this "$50 off if you're a popular member" at "XYZ Optical Shop". I thought I will save a bunch. So I went there. Big mistake. I ask him to give me an estimate how much it would cost and I think he saw me holding the Popular book and asked me if I had a voucher. Then he took out a calculator and anyhow press some stuff. Then he say what "must do this" and "must do that" and turned out to $200. Then he say since I got the voucher he will deduct $50, then he minus $50 again as "extra discount" for me. Full of BS. I look and I know he is a 奸商...
Cause you don't know how they calculate these kind of things. I think he saw me got the $50 voucher, so he just jacked up the price to "eliminate" the discount. I left the shop immediately. I rather pay a little more for good services than let this guy earn. I hope the shop close down. Later went to Spectacles Hut to check the price. Very good service. The lady explained to me in great detail. The left eye is how much and how much because of short-sighted, right eye cost more because of the serious 闪光. Unfortunately the price turned out $165 in the end... Haiz...left the shop again.
Guess I'll just do at my house there. Cheaper and more convenient also. The service is also great. Rather let them earn then let the "evil merchant" earn my money. Heh...
Think it's pretty cool to go out alone once in a while...listen to my favourite songs while strolling the streets or reading a book. Think I'll make it part of my lifestyle. Put some money aside and every few months I'll just do this "ritual". Go out and shop for things I like~
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Blogthings personality test ...
Bleh...too bo liao so tried out a few "tests" and here are the results...
Bleh...looks okay to me. And no, I will not marry someone even if he's a billionaire (if I'm a girl)
I hope that's true...Haha.
This one is very true cause I know myself. I am someone like that.
| Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male |
 Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
Bleh...looks okay to me. And no, I will not marry someone even if he's a billionaire (if I'm a girl)
People Envy Your Compassion |
 You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them. |
I hope that's true...Haha.
How You Live Your Life |
 You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them. |
This one is very true cause I know myself. I am someone like that.
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