Jiro Dreams of Sushi

I got to know this beautiful documentary through one of my favourite financial blog, Four Pillar Freedom.

The jist of the film in my opinion is summarized below by the writer below:

"If there was no film made about Jiro, it would be easy to look at his life from the outside and mistakenly believe that he is an 85 year-old man who never achieved retirement, who remained at the same sushi restaurant for several decades, who never made the leap to a larger business, and who lacks meaning.

This would be a classic mistake of thinking a meaningful life has to look a certain way.

I think we all want to find meaning in life. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to look for it in the wrong places. Instead of chasing autonomy, competence, and connection, we strive to accumulate more things."

---

Yes. Bigger houses, brighter diamonds, luxurious cars. This is what success in Singapore means.

How about we all learn from Jiro?

How about just living each day doing what you love?

Do you care more about how you look to others?

Or more about how YOU feel about your life?

---

While I do not agree with all of Jiro's philosophy (like throwing your kids and leaving them to fight for themselves, or being extremely tough of himself), I admire his unrelentless dedication to his craft. He is the epitome of becoming one with what he love. (Kinda like 人剑合一 in Wuxia films. Haha.)

While the film seems to have nothing to do with finances on the surface, it can teach you a lot when you look deeper.

One big reason why Jiro was able to carefreely pursue his passion is because money is no longer a factor in his life. He has complete autonomy over his life, and he choose to use his time on what gave him the most happiness - making better sushi.

---

I think no matter what we intend to puruse in life, achieving FI is the common factor that can help us, solely because it grants us total control our time.

Singapore Wedding

"Unfortunately, many couples spare no thoughts on how their guests are experiencing the wedding celebration. It's mostly all about them them them.

Can couples please aim to provide their guests a good experience instead of focusing on the "me-me-me" mentality and "how to make a profit" mentality ? Sure, it's the couple's wedding but all your guests are making sacrifices of both monetary as well as non-monetary value to attend your celebration in many ways. The least you can do is to have the decency to ensure they have a good time instead of thinking how to profit from them.

1) Guests have to make time out of their precious weekend to spend several hours on a mostly boring run-of-the-mill type of celebration instead of tending to their important family matters like visiting their sick parents or bonding with their kids instead.

2) Most guests will have to fork out cab fare to get to a boring run-of-the-mill type of location. It can get very expensive if it's in town and during peak hours. Or if your guests live in the more ulu parts of Singapore.

3) Many female(and also male) guests will have to spend extra money on dry cleaning their outfit after attending your wedding. And don't forget the time it takes to style and groom their appearances too.

4) If seated with strangers, they have to pretend to enjoy making small talks with people whom they do not know and have no interest in knowing and will likely never meet again in a thousand year.

5) They will have to go through cringing "entertainments" such as watching your how-you-met-each-other powerpoint slides smiling and laughing pretending that it's the most moving and touching love story they have ever heard in their entire life.

5) Last but not least, after sacrificing and doing all of the above they are still obligated to give you the most bo liao gift of all - an angbao that in no way justifies any of the food that they had eaten.

Going to a wedding banquet is one of the most non-productive activity anyone can do. If anything, it is counter productive for most people but many will still do it because they regard the couple as good friends, good relatives and family members."

Connecting the Dots

Steve Jobs once gave the famous "Connecting the Dots" speech.

Recently, I experienced this in relation to stuff I have studied in my Uni days - things I thought I won't ever used again.

It just "mysteriously" appear in the work I do, and in the course I attended.

E.G 4 Years ago, it appeared as a chapter in an elective. After passing the exams, everything return back to lecturer. 4 Years later, it re-appear during a course I am taking.

Ahhh... life is strange.

You never know. You may think what you are doing now is useless, but who knows if one day in the future, it'll be a dot to connect back to.

West Journey

今天去送了我近亲最后一程。

生不带来，死不带去 -到最后尘归尘，土归土。

留下的，是许许多多复杂的人事。

其实真的不明白这群人。

在世的时候对他好不是更重要吗？

算了，反正我最不想参与这种事。

我是一个‘自我封闭’的人。 

知道的越多，烦恼就越多。

自己的事都够烦了，为什么要自找麻烦？

一路好走。



 

Mortal VS Immortal

一种是死不了的痛苦，一种是不想死的煎熬。。。

多么两极的歌曲。。。却都出自于同一位作词人。

究竟是哪一种更惨？

Dreams VS Reality

I came across this post on a blog about "work-life" recently... 

And it really got me thinking.

"Because not everybody can have a job that is intellectually, spiritually and emotionally stimulating? Because some of us need to make money in order to feed ourselves? I'm so done with the notion that if you don't adore your job there's somethjng wrong with you. If you love your job that's awesome - if you don't , but you're finding happiness elsewhere, that's okay too." 

---

Indeed, not all of us have the luxury of being born with a silver spoon.

If you have true financial freedom, would you still be doing the same job you are doing right now? 

How many people give up their dreams to become Musicians, Artists, Poets, Writers, Chefs, Designers, Volunteers, Historians, Linguists, etc... because what they love is simply too difficult to achieve (or even get started) due to financial issues?

The majority who aren't born with immense wealth.

That's the reality, that's nothing wrong, and we must face up to it. 

---

But I...

Even though I acknowledge the post, I don't want to settle for it... at least if I can help it.

So I'm working really hard right now. 

Not to accumulate unlimited wealth (not Bill Gates's son here), but to have enough so that it become a non-factor. 

So that one day...

One day (soon)...

I can dream, knowing that the reality has been taken care of.

Relook at Life

Finally back here after a 4 month hiatus in writing... though it was more like 9 months in terms of quality input.

Regardless...

I think it's high time I re-look at my life goal and priorities.

After almost 1 year of work...

Am I on the right track?

Am I growing personally and professionally?

Am I happy where am I?

What are my longer term goals?

How can I balance "Dreams" and "Reality? "Aspirations" and "Survival"?

It's not easy to answer.

Not at all.

我真不想等到荒废青春，用尽体温，才开始悔恨啊。。。 

Justifiable Ways Of Spending Money

Everyone got their own rules for spending money. What's considered a "waste of money" to you may be "money well spent" for others.

Some people scrimp and save for the entire year, only to spend it all on a extravagant vacation.

Some people change their phones every 6 months. 

Some women spend thousands of dollars on bags; Some men spend thousands of dollars on IT gadgets.

Some people find to justifiable to splurge hundreds of dollars on a earphone. Others are fine with $10 ones.

Some think spending 90K on a piece of paper is worth it.

Bottom line is, how you wanna spend your money is your business.

Everybody got their own hobbies and interests, and things which they find worthy to spend on.

It's not really for you to judge how another person spend their money. Feel free to spend YOUR OWN money however you like it.


...


The issue comes when your spending habits "implicates" another person.

If you have to get money from your parents after you become "independent". If you have to cut back on your children expenses or starve them. If you have to borrow from your friends and relatives.

Then it becomes a big no no.

Please at least be responsible to the people around you, and to yourself.

I Moved Your Cheese

When Max was younger, he once asked his parents why there was a maze. His parents didn’t understand the question. When he persisted, they told him that some questions have no answers and that the maze simply is. When he asked why the maze was designed the way it was, and why it had so many useless paths, they told him not to waste time wondering why. 




They told him to focus, instead, on learning how to navigate the maze. You don’t get to the cheese by wondering why, they said; you get to it by running around the maze as fast as you can. The maze, they explained, was a given. You work with what you’re given. It is pretty arrogant for a young mouse to think that he could do otherwise, they cautioned.

Max was not blessed with the virtue of blind obedience. Instead, he continued to annoy his parents, his friends, his teachers, and anyone else who made the mistake of discussing such matters with him. The more he questioned, the more he discovered how little the other mice understood. They knew a whole lot, but they understood very little.




...

Max was determined to discover who had moved the cheese. He was determined to discover why they had moved it. He was determined to discover why the maze was the way it was. And he was determined to change what he did not like about the maze. And so he set about it.

And a long time passed.

What Is Love?

他向她求婚时，只说了三个字：相信我；

她为他生下第一个女儿的时候，他对她说：辛苦了；

女儿出嫁那天，他搂著她的肩说：还有我；

他到她病危的那天，重复的对她说：我在这；

她要走的那一刻，他亲吻她的额头轻声说：你等我。

这一生，他没有对他说过一次“我爱你”，但爱.......从未离开过。

When it's time for us to depart, I'll let you leave first:

Cause I couldn't bear, leaving you alone to cry for me.

When it's time for us to depart, please let me leave first:

Cause I couldn't bear, to see you shed tears for me.

 

Infatuation

Is a weird thing.

It comes and goes without reason.

When it happens, the it's unbearable.

And then when one day it's gone, you no longer understand why you did what you did.

Regret

Would you rather marry someone who loves you or someone that you love?


If you marry the one who love you, years later you'll regret not marrying someone you love.

If you marry the one who you love, years later you'll regret not choosing the person who loved you.







Would you spend a lot of money to do something you love now, or save the money for a rainy day?


If you spend the money, years later when you need the cash you'll regret why you didn't save enough.

If you save the money, years later you'll regret why you didn't do something you want when you were young.






Would you rather choose a high paying job that you don't like or a low paying job that you like?


If you choose the high paying job, years later you'll regret why you didn't go for something you love.

If you choose the job you love, years later you'll regret why you didn't get a job that can give you a better life.

Conclusion: No matter what you do, you'll end up with regrets.

Golden Period

For many things in this world, there is what we call a "golden period"

Whether it comes to resolving conflicts...

clearing up misunderstandings...

confessing your love...

seizing an opportunity...

...

etc...

Once that period is over...

It'll be too late.

Too late to salvage the situation.

You can never go back in time.

And things will never be the same again...

Of course, the same goes for medication and treatment.

Don't let it become an everlasting (永垂不朽) regret!!!


 

Pencil & Eraser

Got this from a friend's post:



"

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

---

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

This is to all the parents out there...

"

The Balance Theory

Eons ago, the wise sage of Kay Kingdom devised The Table Theory.

Today marks another huge step forward in humanity- The Balance Theory.

Imagine that everything is being measured by this balance. You can only control the left side of this balance; The right side, you have little or no influence over.

The problem: This balance is heavily tilted towards the left side. How do you balance the thing?


...


Too often, we try to resolve the issue by trying to adding weights on the right side.

And it isn't always easy. It takes 2 hands to clap. Sometimes the people on the RHS just can't be bothered.

Don't be disappointed. Don't be sad. Don't be angry.

You simply remove what you've placed on the LHS.

And everything would balance out again.

Happy For No Reason

"Happy for No Reason isn't elation, euphoria, mood spikes, or peak experiences that don't last. It doesn't mean grinning like a fool 24/7 or experiencing a superficial high. Happy for No Reason isn't an emotion. In fact, when you are Happy for No Reason, you can have any emotion - including sadness, fear, anger or hurt - but you still experience that underlying state of peace and well-being."

(There's a lot of information in this book. They divide it into like Happiness of the Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit, etc... Below is a except from the "Heart" chapter.)

---

1. Focus on Gratitude

If you want more good in your life, rather than focusing your energy on the problems and obstacles, focus your attention on what's already good, what's working.

I'm not suggesting you use gratitutde as a way to deny, ignore, suppress or sugar-goat painful feelings. Rather, gratitude is a way to incline your heart towards joy. Everyone has both challenges and blessings, but focusing your heart's energy on your blessing will make you far happier.

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'thank you', that would suffice."

---

2. Practice Forgiveness

Why is it so hard to forgive? We think...

a) forgivenesss means condoning the wrong behaviour
b) forgiveness means we have to let that person back into our lives
c) feeling hatred for that person somehow gives us control, power or strength
d) that if we forgive them, we might get hurt again
e) we want to punish the offender

WRONG!

Holding onto these emotions is like taking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person. It's YOU who's hurt. When you forgive, you heal your own anger and hurt and are able to let love lead again. It's like spring cleaning for your heart.

"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace."

---

3. Spread Lovingkindness

Wish the best for everyone.

Your friends and family, all living beings around the world.

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves"

---

Of course... Say is all very easy.

It only takes a couple of minutes to read and write all these down, but the real challenge is to incorporate it into your lives.

I don't expect that I can follow through with everything I've learnt...

But, if I can pick up just ONE idea.

One new idea, one new habit...

That can make me choose happiness more often, then it would have been worth all my time.

...

May we all be "Happy For No Reason!"

Happiness Now

"The greatest pain of all is the fear that happiness might somehow elude us forever; the greatest joy of all is the realization that the potential for happiness is available to us now and always."

...

"How ironic it is that when we're happy we immmediately fear that it can't last; but when we're unhappy, we instantly 'know' it will last forever."

"Do you want to be "Right" or be "Happy"?

The more you want to be Right, the less Happy you'll be.

You'll become more and more defensive, stubborn, resentful, bitter, petty, suspicious, vicious and small.

Love is big; pride is small."

...

"Can you remember a time in your life when you were happy for no reason at all?

Children are often happy without reason - it is part of their charm. Often you can catch a child laughing for the sheer joy of it, smiling for the sake of smiling, playing happily with happiness.

It both amuses and saddens me to think that when a child laughs for no reason at all, we think it's wonderful, but when an adult laughs for no reason at all, we immediately fear for his or her health. The point is - who ever said happiness needs a reason?"

When Emotion Is High, Intelligence Will Be Low

And it holds true for all emotions, both positive and negative ones.

Greed makes people believe emails saying "you've won $1,000,000 USD".

Fear makes old people believe some stupid stone will cure all diseases.

Anger makes people resort to violence without thinking of the consequences.

Depression causes people to commit suicide.

Desperation cause people to do illogical things (thinking paper wouldn't soak water for example)

Love can cause people to do dumb things as well obviously.

Absolute Loyalty cause Japanese Soldiers to "Kamikaze".

Anytime you're under a some intense emotional state, your intelligence drops tremendously.

It's not necessarily a bad thing all the time though.

Sometimes, you just need to get into an intense state to help you make difficult decisions.

Quarter Life Crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

Everyone feel close and so distant at the same time. One moment they're the best people and then they are the worst. There's no one you can confide in.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Source: http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html

Life Is A Process

If you haven't seen this movie, you ought to watch it.

This definitely top the list of most meaningful and touching Chinese film I've seen.

(Saw it for the first time on TV a while back)

"生命是一个过程。可悲的是它不能够重来。可喜的是它也不需要重来。" -童梦奇缘



My favourite quote from the movie.





We've all done (or didn't do) things that made us regretful later on in life.

Like me.

Sometimes, I really wished I could turn back time & start all over again.

I wonder how it'll be like if I did this or didn't do that.

...

But then again,

Perhaps it's a blessing that I can't start it all over.






There's always 2 sides to everything.

Think about it.

Guys always complain they regretted wasting their 2 years of NS.

Well, let's say there's a chance turn back time, do you REALLY want to go through that 2 years again?

Haha.

I don't think, LOL.






Basically, what it is trying to convey is this.

What happened in the past is already over.

You can lament all the wrongs you did, but the sad truth is that you can't turn back time.

...

Instead, cherish what you have now.

Like what's is said in the movie, "Now is never too late".






Life is a difficult process.


Be thankful you only have to live through it once.