This will be my final post to sum up this period of my life. It's time to get over it and close this chapter for good.
When the battle failed in October and I received news of the somewhat 'good' record in the current place, I think I have leaned towards staying behind. It was a decision separated by a very thin line, and it really is a gamble either way. I will not know the consequences (good or bad) of this decision until far in the future.
There were multiple push and pull factors, but the major ones:
L - I really do not know how to evaluate you. I get mixed signals all the time. I have reflected my concerns, and I don't seem to get any response. You claim you want people to tell the truth, yet you prefer "politically correct" answers. I don't understand anymore. From now on, I will keep things to myself and work on self-improvement instead of vexing over things out of my control.
C - Was my most trusted confidante whom I shared everything with, but I don't know what changed. Regardless, it seems that you do not care at all. Fine by me. I have lost enough sleep over it.
TM - I really do not know. I hope they changed for the better.
W - Major push factor. Not my area at all. No interest. Not something I want to pursue, but was forced to. Fine.
B - Push factor. It opened my eyes to how far I am drifting behind. However, do I really want to "take a step backwards"?
A - Major major push factor, and the most conflicting one standing toe to toe with G. One day, this will be taken away. And hopefully I will not be here when it happens.
G - The most important pulling factor, perhaps the only one strong enough for me to withheld my decision (for a few months).
EMC - This supplemented G to cement my decision. Since I have made my mind, I should stick with it regardless of result. And I should make the best use of it to expand my knowledge.
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