I Want To Be Happy...

Yeh... it's the Lunar New Year. A brand new year...

And...

Geez... my life is a never-ending torture...

Sian ah...

Nowadays (actually, it's been for some time), I've been spending a lot of money. A lot more then I wanted.

Not to extend that I got into debt or what lah, it's still well within my means. It's just that I saved a lot less compared to the past in terms of percentage (income vs savings). For example, in the past I might spend $50 out of $200 income. Now, I spend like $300 out of $500 income.

Last time, I would hardly buy anything above $200. But for the past one year, I've brought items way beyond this price range several times. The computer parts, then the LCD monitor, then the handphone..

By the way, I never regret buying the things above. They're really good purchase. ^_^

But I brought some other things like the Bluetooth headset, some mini-clip speakers, mp3 player, etc... that wasn't really necessary. And 500GB HDD, external HDD, computer casing... Luckily I "forcefully stopped" myself quite a few times... else I think I would have brought even more.

I even thought of selling my newly brought LCD monitor to upgrade to an even bigger one... And I was tempted to get some 5.1 mega speakers. I don't think I can ever satisfy my hunger to buy more gadgets and more upgrades... I don't seem to have this problem in the past.

It's not just those big stuffs. Daily things like food and transport, I'm also not as "giam" as before. I guess I'm splurging money on luxury like taking cabs way too often (I reduced it dramatically after the fare hike though).

I thought I could make myself happier with all these things. But alas...

Money cannot buy you true happiness. All these items are just like "temporary illusions"... to blind the truth that I'm in a very bad state. That my life is in debris. The moment that you get your hand on your new prize, you feel so "high". It lasts for a while, maybe a few days. Once you get over it, the happiness that you draw from it vanishes.

I've heard it many times before but I didn't believe it until now - Money can't buy you true happiness.*

I feel that I'm buying/spending money on all these things to distract myself from the pain... Hope I can cut down a bit on the spendings this year.

* This statement does not apply if you have an infinite or near-infinite amount of money.