Chasing A Dying Dream

There was a time when my greatest dream was to enter the game industry.

When I graduated from SP, I really thought I could do that.

That I could do something that I really love in my life.

Something that I enjoy since I was 4 years old.

I dream that one day, I can make games as inspiring and addictive as the greatest game designers of our time - Will Wright, Shigeru Miyamoto, Peter Molyneux and Sid Meiers...

I dream that one day, I'll be able to create an RPG franchise that would surpass Final Fantasy.

A city builder that will be greater than Sim City,

An adventure game even more epic than Zelda!

 

...

Then again, dreams are dreams. 

The 2 years of NS have eroded that dream.

And 3 years of university have killed it.

---

I remember a time when I LOVE programming. 

I remember a time when I was given an assignment, I would do way beyond what was required, just because I enjoyed it.

I remember a time when projects were fun.

Now, everything, I just want to "get it over" and done with.

I don't know why I'm here anymore

I don't know what happened.

Where did the passion go?

Maybe it's because I've come to the realization that I don't really have sufficient ability.

I don't have to ability to do all these.

Seeing the logs and cos make my head spin.

The word "trigonometry" makes me cringe in fear.

Weird greek symbols makes me shiver and tremble.

Interest and passion can only take you so far.

And now, the time has come for me to make a decision.

One that will decide what I will be doing for my last 6 months as a student.

And, perhaps what I'll be doing for the next 5 years, or 10 years of my life.

Do I really want to continue doing this?

Maybe it's time I try something different.

Maybe I should try experiencing a new environment.

And maybe I'll have a better idea what I want in the end.

Time to wake up?

你说你选了不该选的Course, 你的心中满是伤痕
你说你犯了不该犯的错, 心中满是悔恨
你说你尝尽了读书的苦, 找不到可以Pass的可能
你说你感到万分沮丧, 甚至开始怀疑人生

早知道伤心总是难免的, 你又何苦一往情深
因为一切总是难舍难分, 何必在意那一点点温存
要知道伤心总是难免的, 在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问, 有些人你永远不必等